ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Photo Booth)

Sometimes (i.e., every single moment of every single day) I despair at the state of humanity, at my poor social skills, at the dissimulation some people get up to. To be utterly candid here, I'm of the strong belief that most people just plain suck. My social anxiety and general awkwardness where human beings are concerned don't prevent my seeing how badly some individuals choose to treat their friends for no good reason.

And then there's today. (Um, well, yesterday now, but you know what I mean.)

Against all odds (and a vast amount of prior experience where such attempts ended up being futile), I managed to track down and reconnect with an old friend I haven't seen in almost four years.

The Skype conversation was casual and friendly and promising, and just generally a nice way to restart a friendship. We might actually get to see each other in the latter part of this spring (fingers cross, sacrificial pyre lit, and all that good stuff).

Why can't things always go this smoothly? Why are some people such arseholes? Why am I asking questions no one has been able to figure out for millennia now?

If I weren't already quite drained, I'd do a silly little dance to commemorate the occasion of things actually going my way.

ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Default)

Utter exhaustion is both satisfying and a big pain—accomplishing academic goals is of The Good, yet I'd like to avoid slurring my words during a phone call (unless alcohol is involved, of course). Then it's the next morning, and my mobile is ringing, and I could have sworn I'd turned off the alarm the night before.

My mornings are sacred—I use them for sleep. Which is also sacred. )

But, in the end, one can't be upset when a friend tries to do one a favour—however awful the end result is. Complete strangers and their behaviour, however? Not so much something that makes sense. Parsing people's mental workings is pretty much beyond me at this point, but I can comment on my own during particular social situations.

Penguin Books would be offended. )

In the grand tradition of nothing changing in any way whatsoever, I've had the dubious pleasure of attending courses where the Germans continue to speak German to each other regardless of who's around and of sitting at tables with people having the same conversations as five or six years ago...only with smartphones handy.

Yes, campus life truly is like an airport.

ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Photo Booth)

Lately I've been pondering friendship. While it may be a very broad topic, a lot of its aspects seem to intersect each other, therefore the initial thought which got me thinking didn't remain solitary for long, and I can envision an entire series stemming from it.

One notion which seems to be cropping up since I've made my great cross-continental move is codependency. I'm trying to put this delicately... )

At the end of the day, no one should be made to feel uncomfortable. That's not what friendship is about. Human interaction is never easy and you may not really know where you stand at times. That being said, cautiousness goes a long way towards preventing ending up in a situation you cannot extricate yourself from. There are usually other issues on both sides that are preventing a healthier interaction; dig deep. If you're unwilling to hit dirt and beyond, then maybe the friendship isn't worth it, or it has stopped being the sort of relationship that can be defined as a friendship in healthy terms. Your life is your own and you have the choice to live it however you want without added baggage.

ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Photo Booth)

Disclaimer: This is not the post I started writing two nights ago and have been edging towards posting. That specific one I have left unfinished and might complete and post at a later time. It's a topic which has been bothering me intensely, but which I'm not sure I can fully and candidly write about just yet. It's very emotional for me and it carries a lot of baggage, though I do want to tackle it to the best of my ability in the next few days. Until then, have some campus life-related trivialities. And books!

Back to your regularly-scheduled programming, though only sort of.

You know what's fun? Writing blog posts trouser-less. At your desk. All proper-like. Again: trouser-less. There was an incident; don't wanna talk about it.

Courses have officially started, though not for yours truly. Tuesdays and Fridays are my sole days of actual course attendance, though otherwise I have readings and papers and presentations and applications to attend to. And a thesis proposal. And begging for references. And crying uncontrollably.

As I was not otherwise engaged today, I endeavoured to do a very simple task: Find. A. Store. Not only did I not find said store, but I managed to either overpay (by stupidly not demanding my change back) for a cookie I ended up dropping in the street (the sad, sad reality of daily life, my friends), or to pay with the wrong currency... somehow. And why do I possess Turkish coins anyway? And why does the one-lira Turkish coin look so much like the two-euro one? Logic?

Do you ever get the feeling the randomness of the universe oftentimes aligns in the exact way to screw you, and only you, over? Then again, paranoia is so unattractive, so ignore this paragraph.

In the end, I managed to spend way too much cash on things I didn't really need, though Oxfam books are never a bad thing. Books are what I live for every single day. Here's a list—in no particular order:

Books = Awesomeness! )

While all of this is kind of random and pointless, I did manage to—completely by chance—explain the gender non-binary to a friend, as well as differing types of sexualities. Said friend also complimented me on my vocal tonality and/or cadence (maybe) in a strange enough way to guarantee my becoming totally confused about whether it was a compliment at all and, if it genuinely was one, then what exact element of my speaking pattern aroused the good will inherent therein. Generally, I just did not get it, but that is hardly surprising.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have readings to do, though I couldn't tell you how anything that I'm currently mentally digesting is supposed to help me out with the graded coursework.

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Ella Nicoară

October 2015

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