ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Photo Booth)

You know how you sometimes forget what you look like until you see a picture someone took of you? Even staring at yourself in the mirror cannot properly prepare you for the stupid, silly faces you make when you cannot control what your face is up to.

Yeah...

So now I'm apparently starring in a short film. Because of reasons. Those are not particularly good reasons, but reasons nonetheless. I think they might have something to do with this odd, foreign concept of "fun", though mainly it seems to involve a lot of giggling, an immature script, lack of chemistry between the leads, and DIY Batman masks (Don't ask!).

Shooting on Friday evening took for ever and a day, but I did get some champagne for my troubles. Friday was generally a hellishly busy day, even though I got a tremendous amount done, so it's natural that by the time we were shooting in the evening I was too exhausted to mentally engage like a well-adjusted person.

Today's shoot was light by comparison, but I didn't feel on my game as much as I thought I'd be by this point. Then again, at least the male lead and I are becoming slightly more comfortable with each other. Too bad we don't really have any other scenes together, as far as I can recall.

I sometimes forget the final product is not supposed to exceed eight minutes. I keep anticipating hours and hours of shooting...

One thing I do know for sure, though: the awkwardness of watching myself on screen will transcend any and all expectations. I kinda can't wait for the train-wreck of it all.

ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Photo Booth)

I'm functioning on two latte macchiatos, a double espresso and a lot of sugar at this time, plus an extra dose of adrenaline courtesy of screwing up my audition. What am I doing auditioning for anything ever? Well, I got it into my head that acting and myself can coexist. Clearly, I was delusional, and the only reason I will get even the smallest part is because they are in desperate need of people. And I can dance and learn choreographies, which I guess might give me an edge. Then again, it probably turned out to be so bad that I won't get anything at all, and thus remain solely with the public embarrassment suffered today.

The worst part—other than forgetting my lines several times in a row? They made me sing. *cries*

OK, all right, here's the deal: I love acting, but I'm not the best at it. At least I try really hard...

It's a university production of a student-written musical. It was supposed to be fun.

I think the double espresso is where I made the fatal mistake in all of this, other than the initial mistake of thinking I can do this at all.

I've never had much empathy in the past for actors and actresses intent on pursuing a career in a field I always considered they had no business being in. Now I get a little more where they're coming from. They just love it so much they can't let it go, despite what everyone and their dog are telling them regarding their level of skill.

Honestly, right now, I just want to find a rather large rock to hide under.

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ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Default)
Ella Nicoară

October 2015

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