I'm functioning on two latte macchiatos, a double espresso and a lot of sugar at this time, plus an extra dose of adrenaline courtesy of screwing up my audition. What am I doing auditioning for anything ever? Well, I got it into my head that acting and myself can coexist. Clearly, I was delusional, and the only reason I will get even the smallest part is because they are in desperate need of people. And I can dance and learn choreographies, which I guess might give me an edge. Then again, it probably turned out to be so bad that I won't get anything at all, and thus remain solely with the public embarrassment suffered today.
The worst part—other than forgetting my lines several times in a row? They made me sing. *cries*
OK, all right, here's the deal: I love acting, but I'm not the best at it. At least I try really hard...
It's a university production of a student-written musical. It was supposed to be fun.
I think the double espresso is where I made the fatal mistake in all of this, other than the initial mistake of thinking I can do this at all.
I've never had much empathy in the past for actors and actresses intent on pursuing a career in a field I always considered they had no business being in. Now I get a little more where they're coming from. They just love it so much they can't let it go, despite what everyone and their dog are telling them regarding their level of skill.
Honestly, right now, I just want to find a rather large rock to hide under.