Fri, Feb. 6th, 2015

ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Photo Booth)

I listen to myself speak—the words coming out of my mouth with very little filtering, reaching the ears of others—and I wonder whether I sound to everyone else as if I were on the weirdest drugs ever. Because, in case it is not clear enough, it sounds like that to my own ears. Either my ears are of dubious quality, or my mind is—or it seems like it at times. (I mean this with very little sarcasm attached, which would make it truly tragic.)

When I write things down, however, I manage to avoid a lot of the seemingly drug-induced babble that ordinarily makes up my daily oral conversation with pretty much any person I choose to interact with. Unfortunately for me, this is not the way people who have the use of their vocal chords choose to communicate in everyday situations. I wish things stood differently, but, alas, not so much. While it might not seem as if there is much of a difference on first sight, I prefer typing things down (rapidity is certain, as opposed to longhand). I'm essentially rapid-fire regardless of medium, but that one second and a half I am gifted to arrange my thoughts before commencing to type is enough to take me from "inane babble" to "worldly conversationalist but only sorta". Add to that the time it takes me to type the actual words out, even with my swiftness, and I'm allotted more time than I would ever get in regular conversation. Because—trust me on this—I need any extra seconds I can muster.

Take today's fiasco—

Actually, no, forget today's fiasco.

Then again, you weren't there (unless you were, in which case you should not proceed because I am going to be very uncharitable indeed), hence this is the only account you will be privy to.

Words out loud? What are this?!? )

I relationship with the outside world is always problematic. This is the only thing I can and will be certain about.


ellasomething: Ella. Duh. (Default)
Ella Nicoară

October 2015

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